Airing some dirty laundry.

Yes, I know, its been a while. And while I've had a few bazillion amazing (and embarrassing) adventures since my last post, I haven't actually felt the uncontrollable urge to blog about any of them until now. Suddenly, though, I need to tell everyone my latest embarrassing underwear fiasco. Now, some of you might be aware that I, from time to time, get myself into these stupid situations that, even if resolved in the best of all possible ways, are still enough to make me blush. Today's fiasco, unfortunately, has a foreseeable resolution, and yet I still can't quite wrap my head around why it needed to go this way!!

So my sort-of-cousin Freeman and his wife Szilvia are moving from San Francisco to Hungary in a couple of weeks (she's from Budapest) and they had a sendoff party Saturday night. It just so happened that my parents had some Shriner business in Oakland on Saturday (yes, it involved a fez, and Jack Lalanne in fact, also), so I hitched a ride with them in the back of dad's minivan (no, thats not the embarrassing part, really) and Barted (is that a verb?) into the city - the master plan was that I would stay at Freeman's after the party and they would pick me up in the morning to brunch with more Campbells in Marin and then visit some Kenneys in Lafayette.

So the party was a smashing success involving many bottles of wine and good conversations with good people (reference my tweet about welding) and in the end, I went to bed and got up in the morning and took a shower and went on my merry way when my dad came to pick me up. Unfortunately, I remembered later I'd left my cell phone charger at the house. So via text message Sunday whilst brunching with the Marin County Hot-Tubber Campbells we decided that it could be sent to me. Great.

But even more unfortunately, I learned via email from Freeman today that I had apparently inadvertently also left behind a pair of underwear after my shower. He made sure to mention for modesty's sake that he didn't see them, but Szilvia did, and put them in a bag, and they will send them to me with my cell phone charger. I replied, oh, no, how embarrassing, don't worry about sending them, seriously, just toss them and send me the charger. He replied, its no trouble at all, they are all packaged up, we'll send them. And I replied, no, really, please, just the charger. To which he replied was I sure? They could even use them as padding to wrap the charger. So...Aack! I replied something to the effect that if they are dead set on sending my dirty underwear through the mail, okay, sure, fine. And some time went by, and nothing, so I was hoping to just get the charger in the mail...alone. But now I have a new message - he says the package is on its way.

So, you know, I think its going to be slightly weird to receive my dirty underwear in the mail. I hope the package is secure and doesn't fall apart. I'd hate to receive it and see its been all mutilated and taped back together. I mean, it seems to me like the best of all possible scenarios would have been that if they found them, they would discreetly toss them and simply not say anything and then we all would have been perfectly happy. Not blissfully ignorant - just happy ignoring an embarrassing thing that seriously didn't need to be brought up ever!

In any event, there it is, I'm going to receive my own dirty underwear in the mail, probably wrapped around my cell phone charger. And my parents wore their fezzes and had dinner with Jack Lalanne. And I ran into an old friend Bill from a past life, who said he was just thinking about me, isn't that strange! And I drank wine from a cat-shaped bottle and told all my funny welding stories and wished Freeman and Szilvia a happy first year abroad with a gifty calendar. And I visited with my silly relatives and then with my sophisticated relatives. And I endured a minivan drive with my parents. And now its Monday evening and I'm so tired!

So maybe I'll update a little more often. Maybe I'll tell you all about all the things going on in my wonderful life, like how I hope Kendall hurries up and comes home from the east coast again, and how I'm excited for Melyssa's wedding in Vegas before new years, and how I wonder what Caty will do if she'll get some new roommates in Hawaii or if she'll figure something else out, and how Jenny's baby shower is next weekend and Baby Josie is due next month and its all very exciting but I'm still not sure how its going to work with me being an aunt and everything, and how I called to tell her this story but didn't really trust her not to have me on speakerphone like the time I called to talk about waxing and didn't know she had me on speaker in the squad car with her partner, but I told the story anyway and was reassured that she was the only person in the room by the fact that it was very quiet and I know if Justin was there he wouldn't have been able to help but offer unsolicited interjections. All I know is I hope I don't have any more embarrassing underwear stories. But who am I kidding?

Its like this and like that and like this and uh

Oh, nothing really, just felt like updating. Tonight I was cleaning my house (which has become a serious disaster since I've been busy like every day doing I don't even know what all the time) and watching the BET awards. Some people were commenting online about whether BET should even exist in the colorblind society that we are trying to accomplish, and that led to a comment something like, yeah, it would never fly if we wanted to have an all white network. Okay, seriously? Do you really not see how that statement is just really awful and stupid? I just think that obviously our world has a long way to come, and BET celebrates arts that although they may seem mainstream, still fall into a category best described as cultural, and I appreciate that the channel exists.

Well, whatever, in any event, I enjoyed the show. I really like Jamie Foxx. And I like that the awards show honors not just a particular genre of artists but many many types of accomplished people including artists, professionals and philanthropists. And I was impressed with the amount of honor given to MJ and his family - I felt it was just the right amount. It was a major major theme for the awards, but it wasn't everything - dominated but didn't overwhelm I think. And I think that it was tasteful and appropriate to include it with this major cultural community event rather than somebody putting together some big elaborate ridiculous lets honor MJ with a lets honor MJ special.

On another note - actually the reason I started writing tonight - I browsed my favorite Craigslist category tonight (Missed Connections, duh) hoping for one about me (you know, Hey little white honda, you're so beautiful, yeah yeah) but no dice tonight haha. Actually, most of the time these are pretty lame, like oh, baby, I saw you in da club, hit me up, whatever. But tonight there was one that was totally appropriate and heartfelt and so effing cute I really hope he finds her! http://fresno.craigslist.org/mis/1244666440.html -Good luck!!

So, what else? Okay, here goes. I think I've been needing to do some emotional and relationship housecleaning too. I do the same way I put off my regular cleaning - put it off until it really really needs to get done. I'm not quite sure what needs to happen, though, for me to get back into my single girl groove. I was feeling pretty dang hot for a while there (woo! lol), but then I accidentally got into a whirlwind relationship (I guess. I don't know what else to call it) and soon found myself backpedaling because I rushed in like I do and then got to know him and thought, well, we really don't have much in common, do we? I also realized that the way we met and the first few times we hung out really set the tone for the relationship all wrong - let me explain. Although we met at a bar and I rode to Friant on the back of his motorcycle within an hour of meeting him, and that week we hung out and drank cheap beer in cans and it was fun, I'm really a girl that prefers to be wined and dined and wooed and a man should have a smart wit and better manners than a teenager. In other words, I think I gave him the impression that I was a totally low-maintenance easy-going cool chick all the time, but in fact, although I am capable of being that chick on occasion, I expect more.

So...combine that with a hellish week at work and being sick and tired and my house being a mess (which makes your daily life kind of hard to live), and I kind of got a little irritable with him and told him he was really driving me crazy. I kind of feel bad, but thats just how I felt. He said, why, what did I do? And so I was faced with a decision: a) tell him the list of all the stupid shit that he did that kept pissing me off, or b) lie and say its not you its me, blah blah. You know that cliche joke about couple fights where someone won't tell you why they're mad, they're like, well if you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you? Yeah, seriously, if he doesn't know that the things he does piss me off, then I shouldn't have to tell him and teach him how to be. Good manners and good judgment are something you either have or you don't, and just because I tell you to do something differently, doesn't mean the situation is cured. Besides, he didn't really want to know anyway, did he? So, anyway, mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys, and teach them manners. The end.

He came. He rocked. He ran away into the night.

So its been a while, and I've had many many adventures without the time or energy to share (how exactly did I end up at a frat party last Saturday??? Or hang out with Quentin Tarantino on Sunday??? Yes, I have celebrity sightings all the time.) But this one must be recorded for posterity because I am still laughing my ass off about it! As I write, I'm racking my brain to try to remember what the heck this guy said his name was - its important, because he obviously put a lot of thought into saying his name was .... something that sounded both German and dirty ... whatever he said. But I digress. I'll start at the beginning.

Happy birthday to Selena, Melyssa's "bestie" - so the plan was Sushi 80s for sushi and karaoke. Oh, no, it was closed on Tues still "in observance of Memorial Day." So where to go? Well, if we'd thought of it sooner, we would have gone to Full-o-Bull across the street, but we didn't, we somehow (how, again, exactly?) came up with Fajita Fiesta at Cedar/Shaw. You know, the one that used to be Tony Romas, and Willikers, and many other things. Well, being Fajita Fiesta, the karaoke was (when we got there, at least) mostly Spanish. Enter our ridiculous group of karaoke fools: Melyssa, Selena, me, Moralthreat Mike, Whimsicali Mike and His Linda, Greg, Hector, and some other guys that were Hector's friends.

There was a small crowd of what appeared to be regulars - singing entirely in Spanish - but because we set out to sing some karaoke, well, thats exactly what we did - so we put our names on the list! I take that back. I put my name on the list, and so did Mike. Now, I can't sing, but I will. Yikes. I thought Selena and Melyssa wanted to karaoke! Guess not! Well, at least when more people started coming the list started getting a little more diverse. I did some Queen (nothing too difficult - Crazy Little Thing Called Love), Moralthreat Mike did some Eagles (Desperado), Whimsi Mike did some Pearl Jam (Jeremy), Hector did some Elvis (I Can't Help Falling in Love With You)... things were getting good! Then even the crowd that was singing in Spanish started choosing songs like The Reason by Hoobastank (which btw sounded really sexy with his accent) and a chick sang "All That Jazz" cabaret-style - very cute. Later a really drunk dude got up and sang acapella dedicated to me (I think - he was speaking mostly Spanish) but I'm pretty sure he pointed at me! And he went on and on and on, and the dj had to get his girlfriend(?) to drag him away...that was cool. Okay, maybe it wasn't just for me, but maybe it was!

Oh, anyway! So we sang the night away! The alcohol may have caused a few forgotten words, but then the night was about to end. Oh, geez, who stays out til 2am on a Tuesday night?! I haven't done that since my first date with Tomas last August. LOL right?! But, again, I digress. My evening was a success even without the mystery man that was about to walk into our lives! I had met some really great people and had a ton of fun! But then! In walks ...

Damn. I still can't remember what he said his name was. But that was later anyway. So last call for karaoke - and in walks this dude. Picture Jay:

http://cache.jalopnik.com/cars/assets/resources/2007/05/Jay-Silent-Bob.jpg

He was tall and lanky and had long, flowing blond hair practically down to his waist. He was one of those vintage stoners from the dying breed of stoners that just make you nostalgic for stoners. I'm not sure why he was strangely familiar - if it was just the nostalgia of his look, or if it was that we happened to be in my old neighborhood where I grew up. You know, they say most people die within 5 miles of where they were born. So it would stand to reason that if I knew this kid from Vinland Elementary, it might well be the same kid, 30 years later. Have I adequately described the romanticized nostalgia I feel for stoners of this ilk? I could go on. But I really need to sit on my roof and smoke a cigarette.

But here's the thing: He waltzes in by himself to Fajita Fiesta karaoke Tuesday and puts his name in for the last song. Everyone was getting up to leave. But I stayed. He ROCKED the Poison - Nothin but a Good Time! Damn, he was good. Everyone totally went outside, and I thought they ditched me. Hector's friend came over and asked me if this guy was my boyfriend (I assume because we are both blond and I was visibly impressed by his performance!) to which I replied, no, I don't know that dude. But I will!

So when he was done there were only a couple people left in the bar and I went to him and said Hello, who are you, whats your name? And he said ... crap, I can't remember. It sounded German, and dirty, like Lickmystein or something. But it was a word. I made him repeat it, because it didn't sound like a name. Since it sounded foreign, I said, are you not from here? And he said, no, I'm from across the street. (He really was hahahaha I'll get there.)

And so, being weirded out by his vintage stoner charm and strange introduction, I said, okay, well, see you around, gotta go, and I went outside, where everyone was apparently waiting for me. So - wait - here comes the good part. He followed me outside, then proceeded to run away lalala into the night. Literally. He ran across Shaw, then into the frontage road, and ran and ran away away into the neighborhood, into the night. WHO DOES THAT?! I'm so fascinated.

When I got home, I looked up the word that he said was his name. It was a vocabulary type word that I knew, but wanted to look up the dictionary definition to delve deeper into the mind of this strange man. It meant something like "invisible in plain sight" - so obviously he had put some thought into his "stage" name before telling me. He was probably waiting for someone like me to ask him his name. Like this kid I met at Vini's on Sunday night, Felix, but thats a whoooole differnet adventure, folks.

Well, I'll conclude by saying that on the one hand, I'd like to investigate further and meet and learn about this guy, you know, get to know him! But on the other hand, I'd kind of like to preserve him, like in a museum, in my memory, as the guy that came and rocked and ran away into the night. I worry that if I met him I might accidentally introduce him to the real world, and that might be a tragic loss of a relic.

An argument for Twitter

So the professor of my court administration class was introduced to twitter by an article that was entirely negative and obviously written by someone who did not understand the phenomenon. I responded briefly that it was too bad that article was her first impression of Twitter because it was actually an interesting and evolving tool that can be adapted to many uses - social, professional, or otherwise. Here's the rest. I'm interested to know what you guys think.

"... And I don’t see how twitter can be used as a social network if there’s a limit of 140 words!!!??? L"

My response:

Re Twitter: Here in Fresno, the local Twitter “community” has grown such that when you join, if you take advantage of being able to “follow” other users, you can learn who is involved in what projects, whether they are professional or social (for instance, many real estate agents are using it as a marketing tool, and the arts community is using it as a way to market projects, Pecha-Kucha Nights, etc.). It has evolved into a tool, not just updating your friends on whether the sky is blue today or not. Its easy to look at it from an outside perspective and think, well, why would I participate in that, but once you’re involved, you can begin to imagine lots of other uses.

From my experience, I think the reason its different from other online or social networking tools like Facebook, etc., is that you are not limited to only befriending people that you already know – it is very acceptable to “follow” someone that you don’t know in order to see what they have to offer. For instance, I “followed” a local restaurateur because he posts his daily lunch specials. When I went to his nearby café, I introduced myself and now we are not only familiar, but he pointed me towards other people I wouldn’t have known, like a member of the “downtown association” who was putting together questions for the mayor’s forum that afternoon, or a guy who roasts coffee beans and sells them, even though his café is not open. Its just networking, and its attracting mostly Gen X & Y like crazy.

So it may lead to a business deal, or a friendship, or a conversation about the sky being blue, or nothing at all. But right now it doesn’t have that “stalker” or “predator” stigma that those other sites do. Yet. It will go out of favor when the next one comes along, whatever that is! Have you heard of Poken? I just read about this – it’s an electronic “business” card of sorts… Oh, technology. That’s my take, anyway.

An integrated life

Living an integrated life - profiles everywhere - transition from social to quasi professional - is this really what I (we) mean to do? Do I want to integrate all aspects of my life? Do I have a choice anymore?

Myspace was purely social. It was your life as you designed it - AWAY from work. So I'm a thirty-something professional. So what? My Myspace will play you the song thats in my head and display silly pictures of Jenny and I imitating statues at Disneyland. I can tell my friends what I've been up to and "blog" about the concert last weekend. I won't get too graphic though because my 14-year old cousin friended me. Thats great though! How else would I ever have a relationship with her besides random family weddings and funerals?

But wait. I just remembered - I'm a thirty-something professional. So in the real world I re-join FLYP. My dad, a business owner and professional salesman by trade, always encouraged me to do some professional networking and join Rotary Club or something. So FLYP is the Gen X Rotary-type organization, and I did. And I met some interesting people that were interested in drinking beer and promoting their whatever-they-promotes. My career, however, doesn't require much networking at the moment. But I'd like to think that I have something to offer if only in the social sense - I know some people, right? So if I meet you and you're looking for this type of network, I can recommend old so-and-so because he's looking for the same thing. But that only goes so far, doesn't it?

But wait. Facebook is the new Myspace. Everybody who's anybody is all about Facebook. On facebook you can send your friends pretend Starbucks and join "organizations" that show everyone how politically savvy you are because you signed a petition to stop cutting down trees in the Arctic - great. Okay, so its not all ridiculous - it does have some nice features that notify you about your friends updates and such. But it is conspicuously less juvenile in appearance and aaaaaalmost more professional. Oh, no, did I just say professional? Crap, I'd better take down that picture of all of us with a bunch of empty cocktail glasses! LOL right?

Then along comes Twitter. Well, Twitter's been there and bloggers like E had been tweeting and the idea of such connectivity had been kind of a turnoff until, of course I joined and connected with a bunch of amazing people - local and otherwise, but mostly local. But in joining this other type of network I am now introduced to the bazillions of ways that various groups socialize online in addition to the "norms" I was familiar with.

But with the many circles of influence coming together, now there's a consolidation movement. First lets connect Twitter to Facebook automatically. No, we collectively changed our minds - lets do it selectively. Wait, which online profile should I point my Twitter followers toward? Are they social? (Myspace, Facebook, LiveJournal, etc.) Are they networky? (LinkedIn, etc.) Are they bloggy? Oh, no, I created a Blogger but because I'm not actually all that interesting, who cares about just my blog unless its part of one of the other sites that has pictures and music and stupid Starbucks that people gave me? Better make a decision! What will it be? Quick - make some time in your busy busy schedule to actually sit down and think about what you want your online profile to say about you to new people that you are now "networking" with.

Stop the press, though, because I don't have a Poken yet. What? Pokemon? No, silly, its the digital card - not a business card, though, a personal card - that provides your online profile information to whoever you meet that also has a Poken. See, if you have a Poken and I have a Poken and we meet, we put are digital cards together and they have some digital Poken sex and exchange all of our information. So we've just met and instead of taking personal time and getting to know someone by talking to them and meeting their friends, we are able to explore each others details without any pesky interaction. Oh, I feel like the world is moving backward sometimes...

Anyway, I just remembered that I'm a thirty-something professional. So I'd better be careful now that I'm actually networking instead of just playing online catchup with my actual friends. If this is how new people are going to see me, how should I integrate all of these things? Should I edit my Myspace page that I so carefully have crafted to contain exactly what I wanted my friends to know about me so that now it is safe for certain strangers to learn these things about me also? If I join the ridiculous save the whatever group on Facebook is it going to prompt an unwanted political conversation about fencing railroad land? I don't really want to save the whatevers, I really don't care.

I guess the bottom line is that at this point it would be irresponsible of us all to ignore the fact that our online / real life / professional / social / personal lives are all very real and we'd (okay, I'd) better spend some time editing before I die.

And with that, I'll leave you with this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29681926/

Offense

I'm pretty sure that if I haven't offended all of you by now I will probably do so in the near future - it seems I'm on a roll. The roll thus far includes candle parties, kids day newspaper sales, failed downtown revitalization efforts and communists who don't watch 24 and are down on valley small towns. I'm sure there are more because of my typically unpopular opinions on a variety of subjects. In case you would like my opinion on your idea in order that I can run my big mouth about it and you can be on my official "offended" list, just ask.

Is it the economy?

Or is it just the lame-o lame-ness of every business and event planned in Fresno???? We are consumers that have money which we would like to exchange for goods and services, but the businesses we solicit for such exchange can't seem to figure out how to cooperate.

So the Rogue Festival is in full swing this weekend and there are shows starting practically every hour at a number of Tower District venues. So why was it so effing impossible to find a place to have lunch today or a drink in the afternoon???!!! Seriously! Jenny and I wanted to make the Rent show at Severance on Wishon at 1pm. So we thought we'd lunch at Mr. Sushi at noon. Wrong, Mr. Sushi was closed. Oh, well, we'll walk down to Million Elephant. Which, by the way, we will now pronounce "MILLON" (sans the i) like in Slumdog Millionaire. Closed! So we walked across the street to the Chicken Pie Shop which is usually a great choice for a Sat morning greasefest, but you need time to eat there. So we finally got served at 12:45 and figured, well, we won't make Rent, so we'll go to Ed's art showing at Ashtree Studio at 2:30. So we left lunch (which was actually breakfast mmmmbreakfast), walked past the ice cream shop, which was also closed, btw, which is stupid because it was a beautiful warm sunny day and tons of people out and about probably would have loved to sample some local Fresno State or Superior Dairy ice cream...anyway, we shopped around the hippie store (Brass Unicorn) (where I signed up for belly dancing again) and Karen's Keepsakes (where Jenny was able to at least purchase a birthday card for Carrie) and then thought, well, we have about 30 more min to kill - where to go? How about a chardonnay at Vini's? They're bound to be open, right? They are a Rogue venue and are in between shows, plus there is obviously something going on outside on the patio. Wrong again! Not open. They have a private party on the patio and the bar is closed. There is even a Rogue booth out front and the door open, but the bar is not open.

Seriously, Fresno?? The only time when people from all over town and even from out of town come down to this area and every business we attempt to support is closed??? Aaaaack!

I will also call to reference the failure of Fulton Plaza Thursdays. What a great idea, right? Lets take a depressed mall that has nothing but nostalgia on its side and bring people with money to spend to it. We'll have a beergarden and a band and some taco booths. Great. Are any of the stores open????? No. The stores have not stayed open past 5 or 6pm for years. Its too dangerous. So even if I wanted to shop at the zapateria or buy an 18k gold Raiders necklace, I can't. So this time, lets try it on Kern Street - maybe if we put some multi-millon dollar lights in the trees, it will work. Maybe.

So, way to go, Fresno. Way to work with the businesses and would-be consumers to encourage the local economy. And yes, I used the word "encourage" rather than the word "stimulate." Hahaha stimulate.