Its like this and like that and like this and uh

Oh, nothing really, just felt like updating. Tonight I was cleaning my house (which has become a serious disaster since I've been busy like every day doing I don't even know what all the time) and watching the BET awards. Some people were commenting online about whether BET should even exist in the colorblind society that we are trying to accomplish, and that led to a comment something like, yeah, it would never fly if we wanted to have an all white network. Okay, seriously? Do you really not see how that statement is just really awful and stupid? I just think that obviously our world has a long way to come, and BET celebrates arts that although they may seem mainstream, still fall into a category best described as cultural, and I appreciate that the channel exists.

Well, whatever, in any event, I enjoyed the show. I really like Jamie Foxx. And I like that the awards show honors not just a particular genre of artists but many many types of accomplished people including artists, professionals and philanthropists. And I was impressed with the amount of honor given to MJ and his family - I felt it was just the right amount. It was a major major theme for the awards, but it wasn't everything - dominated but didn't overwhelm I think. And I think that it was tasteful and appropriate to include it with this major cultural community event rather than somebody putting together some big elaborate ridiculous lets honor MJ with a lets honor MJ special.

On another note - actually the reason I started writing tonight - I browsed my favorite Craigslist category tonight (Missed Connections, duh) hoping for one about me (you know, Hey little white honda, you're so beautiful, yeah yeah) but no dice tonight haha. Actually, most of the time these are pretty lame, like oh, baby, I saw you in da club, hit me up, whatever. But tonight there was one that was totally appropriate and heartfelt and so effing cute I really hope he finds her! http://fresno.craigslist.org/mis/1244666440.html -Good luck!!

So, what else? Okay, here goes. I think I've been needing to do some emotional and relationship housecleaning too. I do the same way I put off my regular cleaning - put it off until it really really needs to get done. I'm not quite sure what needs to happen, though, for me to get back into my single girl groove. I was feeling pretty dang hot for a while there (woo! lol), but then I accidentally got into a whirlwind relationship (I guess. I don't know what else to call it) and soon found myself backpedaling because I rushed in like I do and then got to know him and thought, well, we really don't have much in common, do we? I also realized that the way we met and the first few times we hung out really set the tone for the relationship all wrong - let me explain. Although we met at a bar and I rode to Friant on the back of his motorcycle within an hour of meeting him, and that week we hung out and drank cheap beer in cans and it was fun, I'm really a girl that prefers to be wined and dined and wooed and a man should have a smart wit and better manners than a teenager. In other words, I think I gave him the impression that I was a totally low-maintenance easy-going cool chick all the time, but in fact, although I am capable of being that chick on occasion, I expect more.

So...combine that with a hellish week at work and being sick and tired and my house being a mess (which makes your daily life kind of hard to live), and I kind of got a little irritable with him and told him he was really driving me crazy. I kind of feel bad, but thats just how I felt. He said, why, what did I do? And so I was faced with a decision: a) tell him the list of all the stupid shit that he did that kept pissing me off, or b) lie and say its not you its me, blah blah. You know that cliche joke about couple fights where someone won't tell you why they're mad, they're like, well if you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you? Yeah, seriously, if he doesn't know that the things he does piss me off, then I shouldn't have to tell him and teach him how to be. Good manners and good judgment are something you either have or you don't, and just because I tell you to do something differently, doesn't mean the situation is cured. Besides, he didn't really want to know anyway, did he? So, anyway, mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys, and teach them manners. The end.